Breakage

 I'm a wasted little piece

of weakness

I swim two ways

Pisces with a torn complex heart

I am an example of a girl

who writes about the

bullet

but doesn't know how 

to load the gun

I am the breakage

the gone unforgotten past

salty lips

sun freckles my skin

and I sleep too much

but I know how to hurt the day away

hungry for sincerity 

do you know what I mean

when the light was just a mirage

and love ?

well, that's just one more thing

you taught me to misuse

© Van Peterson

This is an older poem of mine from April 2019, but it seems to fit into now. So many hurting people, in need of so much. A smile can be too much on some days, tears are ever present for so many. Silence seeps in when the hurting takes over & you just decide to let the tower fall if it must because you can't hold it together anymore.

Don't forget to take care of yourself no matter what's coming at you, some of us we're all we've got and we've got to have our own backs. And we've given all we had to give, time to receive some of that kind love back. Be blessed, to my readers I appreciate every one of you - Van

No Regret

the fairies are bored

the poets' are playing in the

graveyard...

the moon is gothic tonight

totally disappeared 

where are you dear?

the priest is by the riverbed

you're listening to the stereo

in your head

the crows are fighting over food

the indigo night boys are 

a beautiful testimony

but hey -

Lucifer was beautiful too

the angels are choking on

all the birds you breathed out

the poems in you too deep to die

so it's time now dear

to kill all your fear

doubt is a sickness

it don't belong here

the highway is waiting

the sky a seamless dream

regret ?

well you don't have time 

for any such thing 

Thanks for all of you who read, I truly appreciate you. And big thanks especially to my twitter family who actually share my posts, I am most honored that you do that, means everything - take care of yourself, chase no one, chase no thing, be blessed. Much love- Van 

© August 2020 

Jupiter's Existence

Is it the weakness
the attachment
Is it replacing 
that emotional blanket

Is it the fear - that ruins you my dear
Is it the healing
Is it love if -
drama collides
when it's not needed

Is the passion or the letting go
Is it breathing too fast when
you're all alone

Is it the purpose
Jupiter's existence
Isn't it pretty pathetic
this crush of resistance 

The arrival or the departure 
The passed up repentance 
The lost conversations
Forcing that distance

The betrayal of the liars condition
The movement of shadow
The light
The rebel's remission
The dreaming frequency 
or the milky moon rising 

So what ... we're no longer wishing


So if you're reading this, I hope whatever is in your way you realize you are better than all the resistance you're facing. If you're walking alone just remember not everyone has the strength to do that. You can. You don't need anyone's permission to be the real you, you're really ok. And sometimes that's all we need to be to get through another long tough day or somewhat weary battle. Take care of you, the rest will follow. Thanks for reading -  Van 

Disappear

what shall I burn for you today
food, air, water, regret?
shall you trick light to believe
it is an alter built of sky
will you try and reach me with all
your imagined fears and muddy hands
while commanding a thunderstorm
to wash them in ?
like that kind of darkness owes you 
anything
did someone ever hold you close
feeling goodness slip away ?
you've gotten used to feeling lonely
and most days you don't hear
a human voice say your name
I see you boldly carrying the world
on your back
your walk is a run and you're running
alone
fast paced with eyes that haunt
hungry for remnants of the world
that don't touch you


I wrote this about a boy I went to school with. he is seen almost daily (although I haven't seen him lately) walking through the sidewalks of our town, his backpack thrown over his shoulder. Children love him, most adults tolerate his presence and most prefer to ignore his existence.
But his eyes are like blue lightning, and he has a love for life, nothing seems to keep him down, he is a warrior that carries his share of pain, rejection.
I do not know for sure what his diagnosis was or is. I do know he is a kind, unassuming, and gentle soul. I do know he makes me want to be a better person. Every time I've saw him he keeps me in check, and I am grateful for his visual thread of a surreal presence in my life.