Jupiter's Existence

Is it the weakness
the attachment
Is it replacing 
that emotional blanket

Is it the fear - that ruins you my dear
Is it the healing
Is it love if -
drama collides
when it's not needed

Is the passion or the letting go
Is it breathing too fast when
you're all alone

Is it the purpose
Jupiter's existence
Isn't it pretty pathetic
this crush of resistance 

The arrival or the departure 
The passed up repentance 
The lost conversations
Forcing that distance

The betrayal of the liars condition
The movement of shadow
The light
The rebel's remission
The dreaming frequency 
or the milky moon rising 

So what ... we're no longer wishing


So if you're reading this, I hope whatever is in your way you realize you are better than all the resistance you're facing. If you're walking alone just remember not everyone has the strength to do that. You can. You don't need anyone's permission to be the real you, you're really ok. And sometimes that's all we need to be to get through another long tough day or somewhat weary battle. Take care of you, the rest will follow. Thanks for reading -  Van 

Disappear

what shall I burn for you today
food, air, water, regret?
shall you trick light to believe
it is an alter built of sky
will you try and reach me with all
your imagined fears and muddy hands
while commanding a thunderstorm
to wash them in ?
like that kind of darkness owes you 
anything
did someone ever hold you close
feeling goodness slip away ?
you've gotten used to feeling lonely
and most days you don't hear
a human voice say your name
I see you boldly carrying the world
on your back
your walk is a run and you're running
alone
fast paced with eyes that haunt
hungry for remnants of the world
that don't touch you


I wrote this about a boy I went to school with. he is seen almost daily (although I haven't seen him lately) walking through the sidewalks of our town, his backpack thrown over his shoulder. Children love him, most adults tolerate his presence and most prefer to ignore his existence.
But his eyes are like blue lightning, and he has a love for life, nothing seems to keep him down, he is a warrior that carries his share of pain, rejection.
I do not know for sure what his diagnosis was or is. I do know he is a kind, unassuming, and gentle soul. I do know he makes me want to be a better person. Every time I've saw him he keeps me in check, and I am grateful for his visual thread of a surreal presence in my life.