Shadow Girl

the past tastes like a place I no longer wish to visit
so I've washed my hands clean of the soot 
I cannot bury what is left of us
the sweet Balm of Gilead nights 
the songs of the crickets
as the fan blew the pages of the calendar 
like it too was blowing us away
I cannot give you back the songs you sang
or the nights I lay next to you and breathed
in this world because you did too
I cannot give you back your youth
or free you from the ghosts
that shackled you to a pasted summer dream
that didn't fit once you tried it on
I miss your laughter
and the bedtime secrets we used to share
they're still there safe between our two hearts
I cannot detonate the destruction that stuck to you
like your shadow
and there's not enough bleach to wash away
the wrongs that haunted you
tearing your belief
in good things to shreds like sawdust
our red bird wishes, your lace and bobby pin curls
and everyone that left you left me too
but we both know
sometimes lipstick is messy, so is glitter
and we're never quite ready for the taste
of hard liquor or roving hands and rolling eyes
the kind of wiring that trips us up
you showed me how it looked to walk in the darkness
I forgot how it felt in the light


Love is love, sometimes it has its own layers and variations. So too the love of sisters.