rain for water

I wanted to kiss you goodnight
but you had been kissing whiskey
I wanted to belong to you
but it seems you belonged
to moonlight and loneliness

my small bed was cold
and I couldn't compete
with your captivating addiction
and you were busy seeing things
that weren't

I breathed in snowdrops
lost in my innocence
and built castles in the air
until my fingers were numb

my heart became vagrant 
nothing could fill it up
and you gave me rain for water
and the beat of a summer thunderstorm
for music

I was wrapped in your scented memory
and nothing can compare to that
sadness collected in your hazel eyes
like shards
and I fed from that pain
it still stings

you left us
and the windows grew dirty
the doors became broken
and just like us
love doesn't live there anymore

now just like the ash
that settled like a soft secret blanket
of betrayal from our home years ago
we have became poems
written from their burial in my bones
I miss you
and earth no longer feels home