broken paths

my prayer has broken knees
i can see the catholic cross reaching heavenward from the bedroom window
shiny metal reflecting silver spirituality into the Carolina blue sky

i am trying to make sense of my life

so i walk in forests to remember the last walk i took with my father and the smell of autumn that surrounded him
i plant flowers just like my mother
i listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd to feel close to my brother

i absorb loneliness, its a quiet tomb

i question everything
sometimes i feel ignorant
i want to feel the pulse of life with wonder and i know its amazing i even got to be here

i am not ready for that tunnel...
i strive to understand the shadow,  to walk in the gray that seems so shallow and to know imperfection as a teacher
i want to accept the broken paths that pain built

i know nothing can change what has transpired
life won't allow me to hide
but if i let light breathe
and darkness sleep 
i may find it was all worthy as my soul struggles with these personal wars at these ungodly hours

i have no doubt it will win
 

ceremony

you exist
so I breathe
and in my dreams
you breathe beside me

this thing new born between us
never ours before
they call it love
we call it something more

your love is a ceremony
and like rain on a summer night
you are like music inside me

the levy of every breath
and creak of the floor
forlorn halo is all you wear
I'm a little disconnected
a little uncorrected
but I'm still wanted here

and when you touch me I'm alive
in ways I thought I'd already died
you calm my restless feet
heal my unease
cause our love is a ceremony
and you exist so I breathe

skin

my skin burns
stretched too
thin skin
scramble of memory
begs
come back
visit
yesterday once again
small earthquakes 
ignored
warnings cast aside
erupt
and greet me now
in the skin I grew to be
without you...

rebellion formed

Time

Pendulums licking time
and orchestrates stampedes on
velvet floors of red masquerades
The youthful melt the morning of a
symbiotic,  speechless eclipse that
singes and ties the steady skeleton
that's hidden 
Remembering becomes chipped
as spoons twirl the liquid
cup of lies

Perch

she was a perch
of swallowed moonlight
gentle burn of pale
against illusion
rewind of never was
startled truth
no longer desired
meanwhile...

he cut out valentines
to fill his pockets
made of love that 
remain untold

Glimpse

Her cold fingers caressed his face firmly yet gently as she held ice on his bloody nose
Crossing the floor as if it were made of glass or perhaps polished egg shells she glanced up catching a glimpse of herself in broken fragments of the mirror on their bedroom wall
She looked around like a stranger
How did I get here and who is this I have become
Wiping her hands on her torn jeans she realized that the dirty door knobs would be the very ones she would open to set herself free
Outside the October wind blew through fields of sunflowers