pause

pause...
while the needed words hang unspoken between us
while the walls rise higher and we can't see past where we stand now
as rivers run in silence down my face
pause...
you don't ask, I don't say
and yet the pain of yesterday will not sleep
pause...
while the scream inside is never relinquished
and all that is left to fight for is getting less
my senses are heightened by the wonder and why of it all
pause...
as plates of despair is piled high in front of unfortunate souls
the struggle to survive, to surmount and yet resist all that threatens inside
pause...
does anyone hear my voice
cause I can't run away anymore and the poems I want to write evaporate
our conversations are edited to avoid being human
lose it all to have what?
hold onto the holiness for how long as rain comes to erase our sky stealing the sun from my skin and soul
as quiet falls in my surrounded room I
pause...
then return to my crossroad

dark flight

was it the bumps, the red lights or the billboards over cast with the bruise of your with held words
left only with your over dramatized actions and silence I can only guess
the heat disappeared and the good girl too
poetry was bleeding while the old soul was pretending it had every hunger satisfied
dreams lay dying, limping in to the defeat of the deteriorating narcissistic night line 
blurred bylines
as the arch of the lyrical move that bound flesh to flesh said this is not enough
night terrors replaced what once named itself love
the perfect place to hide became right there in plain sight
light slanted through city streets reflecting what the soul knew but couldn't say
we say we're the same but we change a little every day
forgiveness makes itself at home  but only after its too late
too broken is the heart that loved in vain it was a given until tranquility was forsaken then rearranged
once you were silver tongued and your words danced and you made stars your warriors to win her over
silence followed conquest  and wings beat against cage bars dismantling the beating heart
when you won't listen dreams disappear like fire flies taking flight in the dark

red

she paints her lips red and sits in the sun by a propped open door
she's afraid of catching cold
so she don't go out anymore
he left her bored and restless
summer young
but he was beautiful, so beautiful
she swore he was the one

he's been gone so long and she don't love her past anymore
the autumn leaves are brown and they crumble
like her sigh as a restlessness too strong to ignore
begins to thrive 
behind her red door

she don't know she's too beautiful to be alone
but this town's so small
they're gonna talk
soon she'll move on
and she'll close another chapter
lock her red door
maybe move to california
or get lost in new york
and the mail man won't stop here anymore
 

midnight song

your eyes flashed black lightning cutting through my deepest deep
your laughter flirted with life alive and warm
you walked like an educated beauty
never embraced the dawn
you embraced the night, held it like a lover as your own
you were happiest being left alone
you didn't share your dreams or ask about mine
you were taking me apart before I could figure me out
turned my inspiration into doubt
I was high on life, my dreams were gonna fly
closed yourself like books you loved to read
closed your eyes, closed meout
you were naturally charismatic even in your living room
everyone wanted to be close to you
you were beautiful but your words were  like swords
so cruel
you buried your secrets only the moon your witness, looked so clever in your red dress
I adored you, believed in your halo
but I was just an unnecessary mess
you were my home
unconditionally my own
melancholia you are still my midnight song
 

emotionally drunk

storms invade and her ink rains tears of glittered passion, paints the page
torn in  bits- obliterated 
                         refrain
her long ago days
taste stale
but she cant resist one more bite
one more night
                        reminiscing
as her layers start to peel
youth takes a glare
and says you're no longer needed here
you've stayed too long
time to go now says her mirror 
                         reflecting
but her kisses remember
the crest of his lips
when words tumbled without resist
and she divides herself
then and how her sand castle crumbled
and she
                        revisits
red rooms and remembered echos
while cracks formed behind family walls
and time crawls
to a time of newspapers read in bed
and sunshine was delicious
and honey was collaborated dreams
tucked between heat of moments
and cotton sheets
unrequited love
when his words made her
emotionally drunk

Vanessa Peterson
May 2014
 
 
 

Falling

sometimes the world was heavy
before i knew that it could be
any other way
falling into the future
the glue of my world faltered
no way to navigate the blue
my heart was young
my head unsure
no one to secure the heal
so no cure
when pieces of my sky fell
and shattered hope
no going back to perfection
my undoing
no one was looking