unloved

I can live without your love denied me

I can breathe, I can dream, I am still me

I can sleep alone

I don't need anyone to

close my eyes for me

I don't need anyone explain

all I can never be

I don't want to be 

what anyone says I should be

I am beneath no one

I can still see colors ,I can still run

I am not broken-never have been

I'm not incomplete if you think I am

I'm not sorry or ashamed

I'm no ones victim , I won't lay blame

I am peacefully aware

that I am growing lighter

I can carry my own load or lay it aside

 at my crossroads

I'm no borrowed

I'm not stolen or vain

I can be happy

Even when I'm unloved

In my most dire circumstances and there have been a few I have found its up to me to be happy.I can choose my own atmosphere by not allowing others to effect me  in negative ways.There will always be those that mark others as outsiders , outside their clique.Our happiness need not depend on anyone its only a state of mind, always our choice, even when we're unloved.

ticket

staring at the midnight sky

my prayer is lost, don't have

wings, can't fly

the moon is high

but it's raining inside

tired of waiting for this gray

to fade

yesterday's sadness is washing me away

will I make it to tomorrow

I can't say

my song is broken, my skin is dying

I tell them I'm alright

only I know I'm lying

no pills to ease this grave of pain

can't find my way back to

simplicity i crave

chains of discord tie me to

this bed of fear

think its time to buy

a ticket out of here

sometimes its just time to go....

vanesadawn

dirty face

ever hear the sound of a broken heart

when the breath will not release

pain finds its lodging place

and it won't let you sleep

hey dirty face what's wrong with you and me

no one to call your name

sweetens the urge to renew old flames

stuck with old memories of who

we'll never be

so can i have the old ones you won't

take  when you leave

mascara don't care if i cry

our love won't survive one more lie

so let's lie on the bed you're leaving

let yesterday sink into our skin

hey dirty face, it's raining

dirty face you have a hunger i can't please

and your pain has no cure

now its killing you and me

life was never meant to be easy

dirty face, you're running away from me

This is about making peace when a relationship ends, putting all the loose ends in place starting with the memories.Sometimes letting go is a blessing in disguise.

some days

some days the sun shines bright
and there's not a cloud in our sky
some days are dark and tear stained
with scars
some days we can fly
and we accept who we are
some days connect us with happiness and content
some days will leave us broken
without answers,and we won't understand
some days between despair and prayer we cry
these days are our life, all that we have
one day at a time we get through
some days are a gift we wish would never end
some days we only want to begin again
some days we waste not knowing what to do
some days belong to only you
some days bring new births and beginnings
some days reveal the face of God
some days turn our life around
grief turns our soul upside down
hope answers, faith delivers
paths unfold,small hands arrive
to guide and gently hold
some days bring honor or golden glories
of silence
some days we know who we are
and what we aren't
some days are celebrations
or the season to let go
some days we see with our heart
even if it storms
some days sum up a lifetime
of dreams, tears and destinies
some days all we have is all that was
© Vanesa Dawn

Bed That We Made

i miss your hands in my hair
and sunshine in your eyes
i sleep alone in the bed
that we made
if breathing means
i'm still alive

i don't talk to strangers
cause they'll want my story now
but i know its much too soon
for taking these walls down

if i walk a little faster
i might make it somewhere
doesn't really matter
cause you won't be there

the sun still shines
on little girl blue
but there's no high
high enough
to get me over you

going through the motions
for the pay of the day
since you don't sleep here any more
in the bed that we made

your scents still on your pillow
your shoes by the door
i put your dreams
in a cardboard box
cause you don't dream
here anymore

won't  feel your hand in my hand
won't see sunshine in blue eyes again
your scent on the pillow soon will fade
and love won't  sleep here anymore
in the bed that we made
© Vanesa Dawn

August Nights

For those who ever had a love, maybe forbidden- yet irresistible.  You just had to see that love through-even if it would end.

we knew a time of innocence

before the sun became a dirty blur

there was passion and refuge 

and those memories they still burn.

our breath and the heat they were the same

we'd spin and we'd soar, you'd scream my name

hand in hand we ran through the night

my best friend in the jealous moon light

we'll never know that innocence again

our young hands knew each other well

heated kisses shook us to our core

in those jasmine scented summer nights

behind your bedroom door

then the sky grew dirty

as the hourglass stood still

their gossip grew louder

as cicadas sang on our windowsill

and we were running in the night

beneath that jealous moonlight

didn't matter where we'd go

love changed everything inside of us

we were just too young to know

© Vanesa Dawn

Seasons

i've stopped complaining about the seasons
i can't change the light of day
i've stopped fighting all the reasons
it won't matter either way

i've stopped believing in forever
i know now it never was
but i believe death can never be
as courageous as our love

stopped counting on tomorrow
so now i'm counting on myself
but the sun is not as warm- will never be
as it was before you left

i feel you with me in the summer breeze
summer rain knows my grief-
even though i cannot see you
i know you are still with me

© VanesaDawn

write it down

the chorus of us
is slipping away
beneath the brown,the gray
of yesterday
write it down,write it down
all we'll never say

the story of us
the thunder has stolen
split apart with silence
whole circle
becoming fully broken

now I'll search in shadows
you're oblivious to light
vintage forms reappear
in bold black and white

sadness bends my knees
time has failed and betrayed
all we would ever be
write it down,write it down
let your story speak

century of love covered
with haze
your perfect memories
hazel eyes remember
then forget me

even if the stories bleed
write it down,write it down
remember again
before you leave me

© Vanesa Dawn

This is written about my grandmother whom I lost in 1999 due to Alzheimer's disease.
There were so many stories she took with her and I am left to wonder.Just wish I had taken
the time to get to know her better.Wish she had kept a journal or something,it would be a treasure for sure.

bury the rain

played your cards
but you were played
your family tree was made
of rain
and it washed you away

like a little girl you built
your castle in the sand
watched your favorite prince
destroy it 
with his own hands

the clock on the mantle lost
its sway, its chime
the voice you love to remember
still lives holy in 
hum and rhyme

the roads you used to walk
are the only ones you claim
no one there remembers the name
you couldn't wait to change
oh, lets bury the rain
bury the rain

the shadows on the wall
were the only friends you'd see, as
you'd dance and spin in a 
foreign world of dreams
lost in a summer fantasy
burned by words you'd never speak
addicted to bribes and eclipse of pain
oh, lets bury the rain
bury the rain

© vanesadawn

Hello

Welcome to my new blog!

This is a new venture for me-a journey with words.  I live in the mountains of North Carolina and I enjoy writing lyrics & poetry.  Put a pen in my hand & I am happy!  This will be a journal of sorts- where the past meets the present.  Just words of a small town poet.

All Comments Welcome

Creative material on this blog is solely owned by Vanesa Dawn and ©