Winter wonder, Summer love

 who will I be if you leave

how will your absence change me ?

will the roar of nothingness fill in the space

where run on sentences caught us up on our days

will I spin and dance alone on the cold tile of

the kitchen floor ?

and the key you let yourself in with 

shall I leave it beneath the mat outside our door ?

will I crash on the couch and watch TV alone ?

turning to see what you think before I realize

you are gone

all the sunsets will be mine, the space in the closet, mine

the silence I once craved swallowing up my time

no, I will not be who I used to be anymore

Winter wonder, Summer love 

between the heat of your hand and the cool of your heart

won't live here like before 

I will love better next time

the reception in the rear view mirror will

be much more clear

the sky above and before me

belonging to the one who doesn't 

love his past anymore 

just me

 

Haven't posted anything here in so long. Missed being here. Don't know if anyone will even see this, but it's worth a try. Life is hard on everyone at the moment and I find myself struggling with how easily the beauty and ease of a simple life can just be erased and destroyed by the whims of others. If you find this and read this I wish you well. Peace always - Vanessa

What's the Message, Sylvia ?

 you left your beautiful sadness

to be gazed upon

they will try to tell your secrets'

blame your lover and his other

the snow that locked you into

a cold mood

the oven that will melt the pain

into a forever sleep

it wasn't morbid to you

your failures before

now your success

your emotional mis continuity

you must protect

what's the message, Sylvia ?

An older poem of mine, thought I'd share it here. 

© 

chrysalis

Maybe it's time to be scared in a new way

I won't write about you...

I won't write about you...

I'm going to step out of this life book

where authorship has been delegated to those

that don't know me tell me that they know what's best

I long to fall into the dark space between stars and let

their light fill me up once more with luminescence 

nullify the time that marked me as no one

Say goodbye to those that stripped me of my power

in my youth

those who left me orphan to love

to understanding and forgiveness 

erase the iridescent crayon that left

unimaginable stain

Simply breathe again without guilt or regret

capture the space that is mine

be here fully alive without the ache of heart

and hard core shell of Ashe

Can you love me just enough so I know this journey

wasn't a complete waste ? 

If not 

I won't ask permission to become the butterfly

that you want to kill

Breaking free of fear, of being held in the vices of how others see us. That's not easy to do. Everyone wants to belong, to be at ease to be accepted. Sadly not always the case. If you understand this then when you are ready to break free from your personal chrysalis, spread your wings take flight. Freedom is yours when you are ready. Thanks for reading. Much love, Vanessa

Silence That's Between Us

 I am still lingering

in the springhouse

still unraveling the twine

set for my feet

I am tied to the lighthouse

always incomplete

still missing the balloons' that

escaped our  youthful

hands

still enthralled by music

still in love with a boy in a band

that rusty old bridge haunts me

random hitchhikers remind me

we're all one step away from

freedoms' or

one foot away from no more

breathing

I whisper to the incurable silence

that's between us...

always trying to catch up with you

but sadly my application to leave here

has been misplaced

and the elevator is unfortunately stuck

half of my heart is gone 

the other half just waits to die...

immortal this silence between you and I

Hold your loves and hold them tightly, unless time be cruel and separate two beating hearts. No time to waste or regret, live fully, unashamedly & thrive. Good love, good life shouldn't be wasted ; time is ours but this once. Don't close your eyes, your heart to what's before you right now.  Thanks for reading, love to all - Vanessa

Complacent

 breeze in the curtains

cinnamon whiskey waits

sky so full of love

it's blooming pink

it's 7:00

I wish I was asleep

the betrayals

they make sure you see

let them know

it doesn't matter

can't shake your identity

and you smile when 

romance is beautiful

and you sleep when 

it tires you

but you can dress up knowing

your glass is full

you just don't know

if it's full enough

to keep you there

© 

Here's hoping all who read this is in a wonderful place, that you are aware of all the happiness you deserve, desire is there for the taking. It just make take effort on your part to say yes to the worthy, no to the manipulation that will destroy the good places, people & opportunities waiting for you. Here's to exposing all the dragons that can't love us as we are. And here's to the ones waiting to embrace all we are flaws and all. Take care all. Appreciate each one of you - Vanessa

Forever Rain

 I was dying to live

gave all I had to give

born in a rainstorm 

imperfection's demand

I was sinking from sight

falling into your hands

we burned our fingers

changed our mind

you were trying to hide

always trying to hide

got lost in a dream

betrayed by your kiss

waking up high

like it was a gift

you were a love - oh

what a love

wasting me to get it right

I was starving to feel

you turned out the lights

we were a movie

and tragically fake

perfected liars, falling down

in a forever rain

what a wasteland we built

shifting love into sorrow

our sky full of beauty into a

guiltied tomorrow

oh but I loved you

like an unplanned bullet

just a fool

a jewel in your crown

don't discard me yet

I'm still around

I'll be around....

Know your worth. In matters of love make them earn your heart. it's too easy to give yourself away. You are worth everything and more & you owe yourself a beautiful love, a love worth sticking around for. 

thanks for reading, much love to all - V

Savage Jack

 Sin is drowned in a river...

people are too

California's just a word 

Johnny, Jack and Jim

are my friends

Danny's just a memory

Carolina's just a dream

Staying in between the lines

make it all dark

Draw the curtains

draw down the moon

board up my heart

I apologize to you all that come here and read my work and I know some of you have been with me since day one. The last year plus has kicked me to the curb with heartbreak more than I care to admit. Loss comes in many forms and I'm reminded that there is nothing one can do to change the outcome of others' destiny. We are just lucky to have the family and friends we do and if we're lucky we're loved back as much as we unconditionally love them. 

We are left behind with goodbyes and non goodbyes. Those are the ones that hurt the most - you didn't see it coming, and it happened leaving you stranded with the burden of carrying on. After all isn't that what they would want. I'm taking my time but I'm slowly coming back to life without the answers I seek. To be here and now must be enough. Take care of you and your beloved. I appreciate you every one so much. Much love - Vanessa