You'll Stay Gone

how much of us
absent of things
make up a life
how far away do we
go, to return to the
sound engines of breath
the water bears the voyage
masks disappear, wrists
grow smaller
one harbor leads to another
love left on a shore
leaves behind
wild apple trees, infused youth
delirium of summer skies 

the books on the dresser
our coffee in bed, warm under
weighted bedspread
now, closed journal

I see you by the seashore
seasons pass colorlessly
like castles in gray rain
stanzas wait
pencil unlocks the unsaid
and frames us out
leave me that
the lilies will be beautiful
mist and fog
snow and frozen windowpane
winter will murder the day
you'll stay gone  

Wet Matches

my daily bread doesn't satisfy me anymore
the mocking silent moon that I pass the hours with
he won't choose sides
I am hungry for beauty, for a strange new love
that might cradle, might soothe and destroy
the panic that lodges
freezing me in hopeless Winter ruin

we would talk about how lucky we were to have met
talk about the heart, the whole madness that doesn't
quiet down or bed the damned tragedy that screams like a
sickness,
inner electrical currents flow
hope demands we break the darkness apart
until we find something that cultivates the existence
and wins the argument of love

somewhere in the Winter rain
I must mutilate my bearings that feel like
Earth and Hell renegotiated and formed an eclipse
beneath my feet
My dreaming feels uselessly whimsical
I must pass my time wisely to survive
and push toward the crystal light
that dismantles and settles this rumbling
resembling a street whore that's lost on East 14th Street
that doesn't exist anymore

I can't translate this desolate season like before
My matches are wet

Innocence or Something Like Silence

break a wine
burn a flame
dance in the darkness
until it fades

get drunk from a place
learn how silence flies
on wings of morning birds-
leave when you're ready

kiss your lover
like a desire that will
one day leave you
happier

imagine like children
whose only want is
mud puddles to swim in

be in love with the unattainable
drink in the moonlight on your loves face
stir clouds in the sky
with your thoughts

torment of heart won't save you
so put that horrible toy away
quiet your demons with purposeful
silence of your choosing
say everything
speak no words

Long Short Street or Hope in an Envelope

There's no more reason to burn the photographs 
the notes, no more room for the ache I carry 
Gone are the summer nights and moss covered trees, the scratchy green army blanket we shared
Long street was the shortest way to get to where I realized I can't fix me and maybe everyone isn't supposed to be fixed 
My mind is an ocean, rapid waves of heartbeat, oxygen in short supply, deep holes of darkness swallowing me
and I have been a fearless warrior 
I have mellowed in sunlight, drank the stars in the eyes of a most desired love 
I've hidden quarrels, buried their power in salty graves 
Slit my lips on on summer's devoted aphrodisiac of sugared plums, sent loved ones love and hope in an envelope 
I hid my madness in a mattress 
I faced sorrow that ripped my souls canvas and changed my place in this world and to most
I sometimes appear too alone