Lasts'

I am your last written word: tragedy

he is rained on firewood
sidewalks where heartbreak destroyed
mirage of safe shores
the prayer that never reached your eyes
out of time
hated unfinished sentences
the match
the kerosene and 
fire
the lighting up of your soul that began
years ago

you became a wasteland as he was
leaving
hungry January's white rose thorns
he was the mocking bird that was never quiet
the un-silent moving
the burning night
the smoke you can't hide from
terra-cotta Summers' escapes your imaginings 
an inescapable clinging to your skin 
begging for your purple fingernails kind of itch
you can't reach

the little voice of God nudges you awake at night
whispers, "do you remember the way back home to me?"
you don't but you say you do
rewind now-

the goodbye you never gave your mama
the last kiss you gave your daddy
the chocolate drop that dripped from your chin
the day he died
the way she rocked herself alone, the way she cried
the background spinning LP Joni Mitchell
repeating
repeating...

your thin non winter coat
and all your loyal lies, the taste of frost
unhappy lullabies - dashing bolts of color- muted daylight
wanting out
wanting in
and on your final day
when you finally go-
missing breathing