Friday, January 31, 2014

winter wine

beneath the winter tree he kissed his girl
the silence so loud and heavy it split the night
and the moon soaked up their breath
every thought we can't be
vanished
no matter the cost she would be his
he could not part his soul from the shine
in her eyes
and her heart agreed
maps and highways and bonds 
and agreements with God disappeared
his love of her reverent, unearthed
bodies tingled with desire, the beautiful movement
of life breath slipping, sustaining the dance
that was electric
soul, his very soul he could feel it soar
his lips were on fire with the taste of her wine
hands tangled in mahogany silk as regret died
this silver pouring through his veins, this was life
his girl was essence of summer, moonlit walks
in midnight snow
she was shelter, heat, strength and hope
gathering her to himself
his love, this angel he had prayed into existance
two hearts dancing a thousand dances
in a blue and gold night
tomorrow would wait
now was his to give to his temptation
his vibrant transparent poetry
in the flesh
his winter wine

Friday, January 24, 2014

pages of me

I read graffiti left on cement halls
summer is the perfect illusion
though it has came many times
slant of sunlight is different I notice
on red walls
my dreams have a life of their own
they just haven't made their mind up 
yet...
the world is a large place and I have resigned
myself I won't get to see a lot of it
there are loves I have never touched
my songs wait in boxes for voices
to sing them
for music to live them
I still write letters to my parents
they are no longer here
I still mourn them
I don't really expect anyone to understand me
hope refuses to die, I can't kill it
some days I am a recluse
and I am fine with that
I like the way rain feels on my face
and how it sounds late at night on a tin roof
a midnight lullaby
there's nothing like the fragrance of a 
warm southern night
when I can't sleep I write
music is my heal and my crave
and as many times as I try to rewrite 
the story 
it always ends the same

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Your Girl

 selfish
and you never could see me
she was always between
never could you see how fearless I can be
never would you touch me
your words never loved me
and you left me...
selfishly

no time for conversation
or my foolish dreams
days of summer passed
like blurred impossibility
did you ever love me
cause you never said
wish I'd told you I love you
but I never did

no white picket fences
to define my innocence
no one by my side to come to my defense
maybe I was young and reckless
didn't know just where to turn
was I selfish for wanting you to myself
just once

and I'm a little angry
cause I was your girl
and I got left behind in a crazy
broken world

tears ran like a river
in my ears
crying in my bed
my dreams evaporated in thin air
when she stole the words I never said

I am a middle child, a middle daughter as well. Sometimes I just wanted to be seen, or heard, sibling rivalry does it ever end ?
 

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Green

boring existance
innocence behind 
losing everything
for nothing
blind to the show
and the reel runs on

the dream is 
sometimes we're already 
living the dream
reaching for more
losing all
life doesn't always bring
happy news
neither does a far reached for thing

boredom still exists
and pulls us apart
for all we were
all we miss
all we lost

left everyone behind to live your dream
play in the big show
sit in rooms painted green
going fast cause that's better than slow

pretense is the door, won't get better
we'll have to come back down for more
of what we try to escape for
all the reveries, memories and dreams
society rules expects more than
this extreme
we're just green
 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

liars kiss

bought every lie from your beautiful lips
you were cruel and teasing
felt it in your kiss
so what if you brought me down
i listened for violins that never played
walked through hell alone
what better wine is this
bought some time with all your lies
stole me with your kiss
you were gone before tomorrow came
i was blinded by your lust
pandora's secret shame
the player's partners always change
i was hungry for love
its not the lover i miss
just the heat of a liars kiss


just a poem

circles

tin roof dances a sad lullaby
falling on the roses you planted
their petals bleeding on the ground
bend enough and they'll survive

I know I'm past our dream as 
circles of the fan erase time gone by
thunder has been seated at my table
I bid the hand I'm played
I'm falling behind

sorrow's turning cold
tomorrow my fate holds
I walk and I wait  while those crazy 
shadows play
peace don't seem to know me anymore
assure myself I'll be okay

inside my castle the candle dances
I'm just the one you won't let in
happy sounds of life drift all around me
I only hear the sound of our love dying
an hourglass, a circle span, the time fall
circles of a dance forsaken after all


+poetry

Monday, January 13, 2014

Genie

last night scenes on living room floors
no reset button for those broken hearted souls
lives were on fire
innocence died in hands of ordinary
lost in discord is the death of harmony
dreaming to live, cause there's no way out
praying for a new life, new continuity
shadows were comfort covered in blue veins
the bleed was meant for power
no kisses for pain
they close their eyes to see,and hear simple prayers
from children with no place to be
familiar with loneliness, neglectability
lost the author of beauty, simplicity
you'll never come, they watch the driveway
it will remain empty
pain is alive in the air they breathe
trusted the discipline of the guardian
which only deceived
too strong to cry, inside destiny bleeds
wishing for that genie in a bottle...

+poem

Friday, January 10, 2014

belong

we belong to everything around us
every raindrop, every storm
every sunrise and sunset
pockets of silence, winds of chance
the sky, the beautiful ever watching sky
moon in all her glories
the paths we take or forsake
the sounds of nature, of a snowflake
light of dawn, electrical lightning
scents of autumn, colors she wears
we belong to every star
every tree we ever hug or ignore
scent and bloom of every flower
the grass beneath our feet
the dreams we sleep
every tick of the clock
every cloud , every forest
oceans and her tides,highs and lows
the sigh of winter, first blush of spring
heat of summer, hush of fall
we belong to it 
we belong to it all


10-25-2011


 
 

Monday, January 6, 2014

rainy day game

my rainy day game
I write love notes on your
windowpane
hope before you see they'll disappear
just like me you never knew
I was here

all the forbidden , all the forgiven
I'll write it all down
it will be between you and me
and that wet windowpane
and that silver, simple thing
they call rain

everything we were and were not
you pretended to listen but
I was already forgot
I pray for winter to freeze my words
make it all a hazy blur

those rivers of sadness come every so often
the sad of you is welcome
cause its part of you, my autumn

time is a martyr
we were just a timeline
the rain won't wash away
all my pretty, dark, destined words
I'll never get to say

rain, rain, wash away
all I'll never get to say
rain, rain don't you go away
until you wash it, wash it all away

those rivers of sadness come every so often
the sad of you is welcome
cause its part of you, my autumn

This is lyrics to a song I wrote last summer.
#lyrics

still here

life has sank me to my knees
I have risen
I have cried rivers of tears
but I still know how to smile and mean it
been back stabbed, cheated on, lied to
lied on, betrayed and abandoned
left breathing in a world where not one gave a damn
I'm still here
had days where words would not come
no not even prayer
silence held me, I'm still here
lost track of seasons, old before I was old
tired beyond tired
I'm still here, I did not die
not afraid of dying, I've been dying all my life
childhood evaporated leaving me in the hands of
anothers misery yet I did not quit
believing in wonder and mystery...
lost more than I can say
robbed of youth, denied the truth
but secrets don't die they rise up to greet you
family wars, emotional scars generations old
I still have warmth in my heart
I did not grow cold
the more they took the more I gave
saved by faith, live by grace
never will my dreams bend by fear
not afraid of darkness
I'm still here


There's not a lot about the dark I don't know, so I summed it all up in this poem of sorts .Whatever we go through we have a choice to stay in the place frozen where life puts us or rise even if we only have enough space literally or figuratively to do so. Each time all I had on my side was the ability to rise, even if it was only an inner rising.


Thursday, January 2, 2014

Winter Grace #lyrics

found out I'm not a girl from venus
every love isn't meant to last
trying to fix a hurt not mine to fix
burning slow, running in place

for you I was never good enough
another someone in a loveless love
found myself walking on a highwire
living in a space that just gets smaller
no one to save me from myself

faithless winter left me cold
walking in circles nowhere to go
your kind of love put me on my knees
praying to a god I cannot see
and his winter grace covers me

treading rocky waters
feel them sinking my soul
drowning but reaching for
life's changing hope
don't have to tell you who I am
saving myself because I can

you can't love me I'm alright with that
now  know I'll take that next step 
no more looking back

that faithless winter left me cold
walking in circles nowhere to go
that kind of love kept me on my knees
and his winter grace covers me

12-11-2013

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

doors

doors without knobs
that never reach the top
doors with peeling paint
that won't close or lock
with a sign that says keep out
doors for privacy
and for shutting others out
doors that hold us prisioner
doors only we can open
but choose not to
opportunity knocks
dare we open that door
doors that belong to us
that no one else has a right
to open
no trespassing
doors to the past with inside slide shows
to all our glorious, painful moments
moments that made us who we are
and who we are not
its not what we forget
but all we remember
pieces of us
memory the key to all our doors


Sometimes we lock ourselves away from intrusions that are unwanted,withdrawing to sustain.
Sometimes we're locked inside, or outside as a necessity that no one understands So needing
 time to figure it out we must put safe distance in place. The door is a metaphor, up to us to close it or open it at will.
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