Tuesday, November 21, 2017

wanting moonlight

I want us to be
champagne and orchids 
in the courtyard

I want to spoonfeed
on moonlight in your eyes

I want the sky to memorize
how it becomes violet
and I ashes beneath your touch

I want to send roses to God
thank him for you 
my love
but I don't know if the dove
can fly that distance
and maybe he's not even home
anymore 

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Memorist Goes Back Home

light fell across the room so beautifully
where you used to sleep
the last place I would have you next to me
the rooms were bigger then
maybe because we had love living in them
our path is gone
the door was locked
the windows dirty but I brushed them off
and looked back across the years
looking for a trace of us 
and of course you weren't there
the spring house was abandoned too
where I used to scoop cool water
out for you
the road was new, the gravel gone
so too the oak tree roots I read
"Seventeenth Summer" on
I looked around me lost in memories
"Summer Breeze," coming from my brother's
bedroom window blowing down the stairs
that song still touches me
your pretty flowers all gone now
your garden's just a tangled meadow full
of weeds but still remain a few old lovely trees
I saw my bedroom, empty now, nothing there
but I remember rain song on that old tin roof
still needing no repair 
vines have stolen up the side where lilacs used to grow
and fragrance the night outside our windows
and the porch where you used to sit with your coffee
and your cigarette, well it's still there not destroyed yet
the sun was still beating down the silence
so hot, hungry and heavy
the desperation that you surely felt
I could feel it swallow me
the mailbox gone
the fence is too
the clothesline now removed
I came back looking for something of you
but now I know it's not around the curve
that my mind keeps coming back to
in my heart that's where you reside
where this memorist shelters you

Have you ever felt a place pull you backward in time ? Some places hold so much of who we were, clues of who we are going to become. I felt the urge to go home once more to the last place I lived with my mother and siblings. It still felt like home but I realized later that it wasn't the home I was looking for but those that are gone from me and maybe I was trying to connect to the girl I was that was on a different path, wondering what would have been different if things had turned out opposite the way it did. How different would my life have turned out? I don't think I'll return again, what or who I'm looking for is no longer there but in my memories.
 

Monday, November 6, 2017

Blue Exhale

the burns stains on  your favorite crimson chair
your Winston painting blue clouds in a room
large enough to seat fifteen
it wasn't the smoke that choked me
angry days were behind you, I think
grieving days were shelved for when you
were alone
memories were aired
you remembered loving someone whose 
only want was to break you
blue was the color of our world
sadness tinged with resigned loneliness
mornings were on repeat
walking on ice
cold indoors
colder outdoors
taking that walk that may lead
to a better somewhere or nowhere at all
but you were sitting there so beautiful
in your blue exhale 
 

Monday, October 23, 2017

Wicked Orchids

Our love is as destructive
as the match we are going 
to light
We're going to live and love
deceitfully rearrange one another
and no one will know
the orchids are an artificial infusion
of time passed
No, we can't possibly be
who they think we are

Darling, let's live out our madness passionately

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Star Fall

he knew you were a sky lover
magnified your romanticism
loved you from a distance

was it that July heat that made him
want to crawl inside the mouth of another
did he ever see what you looked like 
in the moonlight of his rear view mirror

it was parked beneath the broad old oak 
that he cast his summer spell
as the radio light made you his
he smelled like young heaven
taming winter with his kiss
decimating your heart with betrayal

you wish the stars would fall on you
they were the most sacred thing
to witness your deepest pain 

 

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Goodnight, Goodbye, Sweet Dreams

we had wheels for sky racing
but the clouds always won 
mountains before us to climb
but they built us strong
hungry for laughter
for the movement of a life going somewhere
adjusting to knowing we were the no one's
of this world going nowhere
barbed wire boundaries left scars
and wine presses were visible, but not ours 
too young to be broken
by words on youthful battlefields
didn't mean we didn't realize we were on the 
outside
didn't mean we didn't feel
dancing they said was a sin
but inside us the music was always playing
control isn't love, neither is fear
hearts are indestructible
but flesh always tears
you can't break someone who knows who and what
and believes in all they are
cause we're all made from the same particles
of universe and stars

love you from a distance they say
but their silence tells on them when they never say a thing
that's all right 
we're strong enough for this kind of sting
can't say you know us when you've drifted for years
and we were thirsty and without
and you never cared enough to care
well here's to the good life you never bothered to share
drink up my dear
one day you'll be older and the walls will be
too tight for your soul
everyone that you've forsaken 
will never let you walk alone
in ghost form, their smile, their name, their face
too late now
can't blame, can't erase
so
goodnight, goodbye, sweet dreams 


If you've ever been forsaken, forgotten or left behind this poem is for you.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Love and Summer's End

The love there in the corner with the steel gray eyes, is he yours?
the one you paint your lips the perfect red for, perfume the sheets of your shared bed
tell me 
is he the song you carry in your head
the one who measures your nights with his hands combed in your hair, kissing winter from your hands
you silly summer girl
do you memorize the whispering he beds you with
do you still blush with pleasure because this man of your dreams is no longer a shy school boy
does he sing you awake and rub your body with heat that knows how to make a woman's body dream a dream full of unending love laws that you two only know
do you want to be his fool
love him and erase yourself in all he is just because you can
does he make your heart feel like a tiny bird
as it thunders and comes quickly to life
is your day a jealous lullaby as you get drunk on his scent and close your eyes
do you live half asleep when you're not with him
his name on your breath and the sky a kiss that never satisfies 
you pray that time won't end until you're rooted in his mapped out dreaming soul that loves you like an ivory ghost
is he a symphony of moonlight as it sheds the day's sky colors 
are you his flame, the place his mind and untamed hands browse as you light up the night
weightless afternoons, you and your Summer love
your ribs vibrate as he kisses you like a hungry angel
time apart will only crucify the yellow days of Autumn and you're not ready for Summer to end 
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